Fighting Self Sabotage
Hands Up if you a Self-Sabotage Queen like myself…
Oh, Hi there! Welcome to the club.
What is Self Sabotage? Imagine yourself walking down a path through a forest or something. You stop for a moment to drag a large log across the path. You start to carry on your merry way, but instead, you trip over the log and fall face first in the mud and leaves. You then turn around and blame the log for tripping you, even though you are the one who put it there in the first place.
This simple analogy basically sums up self sabotage in one paragraph – it’s little things you put in your own way (often subconsciously) that either set you up to fail, or distract you from your ultimate goal.
It’s inadvertently manifesting the OPPOSITE of what we actually desire.
For me it’s signing up to a fitness program only to break my toe part way through so I couldn’t complete it; it’s signing up to a health program only to not go shopping for the food required to follow the eating plan; it’s accidentally on purpose sleeping in on the days where I’m supposed to be up early to go somewhere that rationally I know will be good for me; or it’s getting so distracted with something not important that I forget something that really is important.
Procrastination can be a form of self sabotage. And girlfriend, I am the QUEEN of Procrastination Land.
Usually my self sabotage patterns raise their head with fitness or health related tasks, but lately I’m noticing the pattern is increasingly repeating itself in my business behaviour.
Wanna know what my internal (and external) dialogue has been for the past few weeks? I cannot possibly grow my business right now because I’m already too busy. If I take on any more clients, I’m not going to be able to handle it. Then my clients will all hate me because I won’t be meeting their needs and I’ll end up with everyone leaving, and I’ll look like a failure, and and and.
I often say I’m too busy to host workshops or add in any more events to my calendar.
I’m far too busy. Busy, Busy, Busy.
So what do I do? I don’t advertise for more members. I don’t seek out new opportunities. I don’t raise my prices. Etc etc etc. I also spend far too much time on the things that don’t create any income.
And you want to know what’s happened? In the past two months I’ve sold two new packages, but I’ve also lost 4 clients.
By consistently saying that I’m too busy and cannot possibly take on any new clients, I’d managed to manifest my way to less clients, less income, more stress, and (and this is the kicker) the same amount of work.
And the worst part of it all – I have plenty of time. This is evident by the two episodes of Sherlock I watched the other night, or the 5 games of Candy Crush played today…
Time is not the issue here.
This year I’ve done a few personal development things and even though I’m quite obviously not cured of the self sabotage habits I’ve developed over my 36 years, at least I am now more aware of them. I’m able to reflect and reverse engineer why self sabotage is happening and what it’s creating in my life and business – sometimes it’s been a good thing in that it’s saved me from something that wouldn’t have been a good idea anyway, but mostly it’s a fear of up-levelling – with success comes more responsibilities, more personal visibility, and of course, more vulnerabilities.
Without disrupting the way our brains process, and changing our mindset and habits, we are destined to follow the same patterns we always have in the past. In my business, self sabotage is usually caused by a fear of success, but for you it could be something completely different.
Did you put your hand up at the start of this blog when I asked if you were a Self-Sabotage Queen?
If so then identifying it the first step in the right direction.
Now let’s work on changing it so you can instead be the Queen of something way more fun!
Find forms of Personal Development that you respond to. ‘Coach’ is a bit of a buzzword thrown around a lot at the moment, but the truth is that it’s a lot easier to improve your life with your own personal cheerleader. If you are wanting to improve your health then find a health or nutrition coach, or hire a personal trainer. For mindset and emotional wellbeing find a healer or life coach. For business you will want to seek out a mentor. If it’s money that troubling you then hire someone qualified who can understand and advise you through the minefield that can be sorting out your finances.
Take a look at our Business Directory for listings of local businesses that specialise in helping people just like you and me to become better at this thing called adulting. Then let me know when you leave the throne of Self Sabotage Land, and become royalty at a much cooler land.