Where has all the romance gone?

Where has all the romance gone?

My partner is going to kill me for writing about this topic, but I think that it is something that really needs to be discussed.

Romance – what defines it in the 21st century?

I asked my husband to do something romantic for me the other night, so he replied that he does something romantic for me every night – the dishes!

I had to giggle at this statement as I wondered, is this what is defined as romance in today’s society or am I just married to a man who needs a little schooling in the art?

We then got onto the topic of what should happen on a first date.  This was nearly 8 years ago for us so times might have changed, and we came upon the most debated topic between man and women – who pays? My partner said that he, as a representative of the male gender, felt that men are pressured to be the ones who pay for the first meal because the male should see the date as a ‘privilege’, just like in the olden days.

Now, I must clarify, when we first started dating, we met online, then at a pub, then we went to dinner, to which he did pay, but as a lady I thought this was the way it should be, but after having the conversation with my partner, I think that while this could be considered to be romance, if the men of today’s society see it as something they have to do, then this is not romance, it is just a social obligation. 

My friend, on the other hand, has a boyfriend who buys her flowers on a regular basis, and who sits and watches Disney films while drinking pink wine with her when she has had a bad day. Now, is this romance, because when I tell my partner this he always without fail asks me what the other guy did wrong to put himself through that torture and I reply with the usual response of ‘he did nothing wrong, and maybe you should try taking a leaf out of his book.’  Now, while I don’t want to watch Disney films while drinking pink wine, I still want some romance in my life, but how do I define it so I can tell my husband that he is being romantic? 

I have come to the conclusion, after writing this article and talking to people who are either single, in a relationship, engaged or married that romance is what you make it and it can’t be socially ‘defined’ as such, because everyone is different and playing up to a stereotype that could be seen as being out-dated is actually doing more harm than good. Maybe to be romantic is to be yourself, to be considerate of each others points of view and to just enjoy each other’s company, because when it comes down to it, you will choose a partner that makes you happy and makes you feel loved – even if it is by just doing the dishes at night time.


Nicole has lived in Townsville for 8 years and married her husband last year.  Currently on maternity leave from her high school teaching position, Nicole is enjoying the new challenges of becoming a mum after welcoming a beautiful baby girl in September 2015.

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